I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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