How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
