youre lurking in front of me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
