This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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