dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
