I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
