and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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