Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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