My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
