Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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