i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
