Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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