Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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