I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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