I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
