I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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