need another drink. this is the easiest way
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just google imaged poop.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
