i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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