I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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