Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The best revenge is premature balding
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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