You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
