He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
