Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
