She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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