I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
