Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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