well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
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So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
What drink are we having for lunch?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
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He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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