The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
