in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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