I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
