cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
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i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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