Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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