I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this just has baby written all over it
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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