im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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