you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
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I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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