just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
