I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
