pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
