I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
