Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
