so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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