ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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