He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
