you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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