aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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