he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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