He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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