Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
