I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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