Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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