cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
