thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
