is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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