This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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