I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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