I need help removing her.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
