hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
