better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
